EVP'S - VOICES OF THE DEAD?

Can the dead really speak to us? Can these disembodied voices imprint themselves and be captured on electronic devices?

Electronic voice phenomena (EVP) are sounds found on electronic recordings which resemble speech, but are reportedly not the result of intentional recording or rendering. EVP'S are commonly found in recordings with static, stray radio transmissions, and background
noise. Recordings of EVP are often produced by increasing the gain (i.e. sensitivity) of the recording equipment.

Paranormal explanations for the origin of EVP include living humans imprinting thoughts directly on an electronic medium through psychokinesis and communication by entities such as spirits, nature energies, beings from other dimensions, or extraterrestrials. Portable digital voice recorders are currently the technology of choice for EVP investigators.Since these devices are very susceptible to Radio Frequency (RF) contamination, EVP enthusiasts sometimes try to record EVP in RF- and sound-screened rooms... BUT you can't do this when you are on a haunted location!

Interest in EVP surrounds claims that they are of paranormal origin, although a number of natural explanations have been offered including apophenia (finding significance in insignificant phenomena), auditory pareidolia (interpreting random sounds as voices in one's own language), equipment artifacts, and hoaxes.

Parapsychologist Konstantin Raudive, (1909–1974) was a Latvian writer and intellectual, who studied parapsychology all his life, and was especially interested in the possibility of the afterlife. He popularized the idea, described EVP as typically brief, usually the length of a word or short phrase. In 1965 he claimed to have picked up the first recorded EVP on a tape recorder: a woman's voice speaking in German saying, "Go to sleep, Margaret".
Raudive later wrote:
"These words made a deep impression on me, as Margarete Petrautzki had died recently, and her illness and death had greatly affected me."

                                     Vintage Tape Recorder

He would spend the last ten years of his life researching EVP'S and would amass 100.000 audio tapes conducted in strict laboratory conditions.  His work, Breakthrough was published in English in 1971. 

Investigators today, equipped with electronic gear—like EMF meters, video cameras, and audio recorders—scour reportedly haunted venues, trying to uncover visual and audio evidence of ghosts. Many use portable recording devices in an attempt to capture EVP. (Some EVP enthusiasts describe hearing the words in EVP as an ability, much like learning a new language. Skeptics suggest that the claimed instances may be misinterpretations of natural phenomena, inadvertent influence of the electronic equipment by researchers, or deliberate influencing of the researchers and the equipment by third parties).

The concept of EVP has had an impact on popular culture. It is popular as an entertaining pursuit, as in ghost hunting, and as a means of dealing with grief. It has influenced literature,radio, film, and television.
Investigation of EVP's is the subject of hundreds of regional and national groups and Internet message boards. Paranormal investigator John Zaffis claims, "There's been a boom in ghost hunting ever since the Internet took off. 

Many "Paranormal" radio shows and Podcasts on the internet deal directly with the subject of EVP'S on a weekly basis by hosting people who are ghost investigators, authors and psychics who explore this topic and inform their audience with their sometimes shocking and terrifying recorded evidence.

Films involving EVP'S include Poltergeist, The Sixth Sense, White Noise, and Paranormal Activity. It has also been featured on television series like Ghost Whisperer, A Haunting, Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures, and Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files.

It seems the practice of capturing EVP's will continue and the exploration of its validity by many dedicated investigators as a true paranormal phenomenon is here to stay!

Here is my true to life encounter with one very disturbing EVP I captured in the basement of my house in February 2010. This is only a small sample of the continued evidence my family and I have collected while being on a long 5 year journey of living a paranormal life.

Home Aud 08.aup is the file name. It was only 9:13 minutes long.

Here is the sequence:

00-6:30- from the beginning I asked a series of questions to my deceased friend and members of his family about the things missing in our house and what we took out of his home, etc.

at 6:30-  heard static and there are bumps or taps

7:02-  suddenly the audio gets louder although I did not put up the volume-I had put the recorder down on a box the whole time and never touched it-something tuned up the volume dial.

8:34- I mention that the heater turned on

8:37- I say, "That's going to make noise"

8:40- (This is it) large area on the audio a Horrible raspy voice saying (we think)

"SHUT OFF THE RECORDER" It scared the Hell out of me.

8:42-9:13- I don't react at all as I didn't hear the voice and just goes to the end as I go back upstairs.

I can't include include the whole audio clip because of privacy issues.  If you would like me to e-mail the 10 second Sound Wave clip to you (you can play it on your Windows Media player) of that horrific EVP voice please contact me: 
http://www.anitajointenzo.com/Contact_Anita.html   or
pastimages@aol.com
When you hear this- it will give you nightmares!

HAUNTED BLOG UPDATES-CAN YOU BELIEVE?

In the last 5 months since starting my blog there have been several interesting developments that have changed and should be added as updates to the particular subjects I explored in several of my blogs. Here are 2 popular Blog Updates. 

BLOG: MY FRIEND PAUL *- A REAL GHOST WRITER

*name has been changed

My friend of 30 years was an anthropologist and he wrote numerous stories (on an old portable typewriter) and some topics were about the origins and history of our modern holidays. Halloween was one of his favorite times of the year and as it so happened I came across an article he wrote about this holiday. His research showed that it was a holiday adapted from early pagan traditions to a Christian Holiday honoring the dead and how it evolved to become one of our major holidays due to our cultural fascination today with icons associated with it: witches, goblins, demons, monsters, and GHOSTS. He particularly singled out ghosts in this article that were called “Poltergeists”. I think it had to do with the word being of German origin (meaning- noisy ghost) and my friend was very proud of his German heritage. Little did I know, at the beginning of my 10 months spent at Paul’s house, to clean it out for sale, that ironically I would be confronting some of the very subjects my friend had written about in his article!

I would like to share this excerpt from my soon to be published book as why I believe my friend’s spirit was haunting his house. You will have to wait for the book to be published to read the full and chilling story of my paranormal experiences so you can draw your own conclusions.

     Abbreviated Excerpt from Chapter 15- Caught on Tape!

     I walked into Paul’s almost empty bedroom and retrieved the tape recorder that I had placed on his bed earlier that day.  I brought the recorder to the dining room table and rewound it and found about two hours of tape had recorded.
     When I played it back, I could distinctly hear voices on the tape. Had I captured audible paranormal sounds? Then I realized they were our voices coming from the basement right below Paul’s bedroom.  Over our excited voices, and at the exact moment the poltergeist activity was happening in the basement, you could simultaneously hear either a knocking or a banging sound. I played the tape back for my son Chris and his friend Eddie when they came upstairs.
     “It’s definitely timed to exactly when things happened in the basement,” Chris said. “But how come we didn’t hear those bangs above us?”
     It was a question beyond any rational explanation.
    “I don’t know. What gets me is that the knocks are coming right from Paul’s room,” I said.
     I paused and looked around the room, and noticed the portable typewriter covered with an old orange towel that had been pushed aside on one of the window ledges. I realized we had never even looked closely at it. To me, it was just another obstacle we moved out of our way to clear Paul’s room. This time, something was drawing me to the typewriter to take off the towel.
    “Guys, you are not going to believe this. Look!”
     Chris and Eddie walked up to view what was a sheet of typing paper still in the typewriter’s roller. Several of the typewriter’s keys were stuck up in the air and jammed together. The paper was blank except for two typed words “the hell….”
    “Dude, really?” exclaimed Chris.
     We just stared at the typewriter. My friend had to be the one who had typed the words but I had no idea when or why. Was he trying to send us a message? I wondered, was his room the source of the paranormal activity?

                                          End of excerpt.

The typewriter as found in Paul’s bedroom and used in my book trailer.  http://youtu.be/kA2_q6GWJjQ
            

                                          

                                                 UPDATE 

             

Upon inspecting the covered typewriter, that has been kept in our basement the past few years, we found to our surprise its orange towel was hanging to one side of the typewriter and the keys had been played with and new keys were pressed down. Other than using it for our Book Trailer in July 2012, no one had touched or moved it. The keys pressed down were strange as to leave a message for us. One the left side the keys pressed down: Numbers 4,5 letters ER, D. On the right side the letters, K, M.

We don't know the significance of the keys changed or the exact time it happened. Here is our theory:  My friend  D-died (we think from the doctor's report) at 4:05 AM on the morning of January 19th 2009) in the E R ????

We have heard strange noises and bangs coming from our basement and no one goes down there unnecessarily. We know all is not well down there and something quite ancient in the spirit realm is possessive of the area.We are having another blessing scheduled for the house and basement and it may turn into a full exorcism of the ancient ground our house is built over. 

Which works into our next Blog Update: WHAT ARE SHADOW PEOPLE?

A shadow person, also known as a shadow figure, shadow being or black mass, is an alleged paranormal entity.
Shadow people are described with striking similarities all over the world such as the Hat-Man which is described the same from small children to adults. The common traits: they described them as dark silhouettes with human shapes (usually a masculine shape) and profiles that flicker in and out of peripheral vision. Some people tell of seeing shadow people wearing coats, hoods and hats and a few people have claimed to see shadow people with bright red glowing eyes. Others talk about the "Hat Man," a solid creature as having "a Zorro-type hat" or "a Fedora type hat". My family have seen The Hat Man in our home and these sightings have been connected with poltergeist activity at the same time.

In 2011 I saw a tall shadow figure in our hallway as I was sitting in the living room watching TV. He was very fast but I could make out the shape.

July 6, 2012: This figure showed up again last year when we filmed my book trailer. On our teaser, before you see the shadow man at the beginning of the video (the first 10 seconds) reflected on our white door and just before you see him there is a brief second EVP of a dog barking. http://youtu.be/kA2_q6GWJjQ

                           Artistic illustration of sighting on trailer

Our brimmed hat shadow man came to my son later (who is very psychic) in a dream and told him was a former resident who murdered his wife in the early 1900's. My son described him as wearing farmer's overalls and a brimmed hat along with his companion-a large black dog with red eyes. We researched in county records (the property dates to the early 1800's) and indeed a former owner went to prison for murdering his wife in 1900's.

Is this the same entity attached to that part of the original haunted ground our house is built on?
Or was he and his murdering deed partially influenced by some dark ancient evil in the ground he lived on?

Several nights ago, Halloween night, son and his wife woke up about 2 AM to a loud bang coming from the basement. My son was very frightened and came into my room saying he thought someone had broken into the house. He grabbed his ninja sword from his collection and we all went down stairs to the basement door. Opening the door we were surprised to see a light reflected on the bottom basement wall which meant it was coming from back of the basement near the sink area where you have to use a pull chain to switch the light on. No one had put on the light the day. All of a sudden we saw a shadow figure go cross that lighted area below us and into the wall. 

                                 Artist illustration of sighting.

We were very scared. My son was sure someone was down there. We bravely called out,"We've coming down!" and rushed down the stairs. No one was there! We looked around for several more minutes convinced all was secure but knew what we had seen. I'll tell you we did not sleep very well the rest of the night and all of us were bleary-eyed the next morning.

PART 2-MY SON -THE RELUCTANT PSYCHIC

As promised and just in time for Halloween, (although a few weeks delayed which couldn't be helped) is the second part of my blog about communicating with the dead. I would like to share a few of my son's unusual and astonishing communications with spirits and dreams he's had the last several years. His remarkable connection with deceased people and the eerie accuracy of the information the spirits have related to him I hope will fascinate you as it does me.

He will tell you he is a very reluctant psychic. He wishes he didn't have dead people coming to him in the middle of the night giving him messages for hours that leave him tired and drained of energy in the morning. But its been happening since 2009 when we first started working on cleaning out my deceased friend's estate.

As I mentioned before it started out with a dream my son Chris had of my deceased friend only a few weeks after his sudden death.From sources on reading ways people communicate with the dead,it seems when we are dreaming we are very open to communication from deceased loved ones and from the other side in general. This is because we're already in the astral planes, which is a non-physical place that we visit when we're asleep. It easier for the deceased "to meet us half-way" energetically speaking, by visiting us there. Makes sense.

This is what seems to have happened with my son.

There is no doubt in my mind that my son's long time connection to my friend Paul* (who once told me he would have been proud to have a son like Chris) and him helping me clean out Paul's house somehow triggered and brought a dormant psychic ability that was always present in my son to the surface.

Looking back I remember Chris telling me of an "imaginary friend" that played with him in his bedroom and a period of time when he was about 6 and would awake in the middle of the night, come into my bedroom frightened and tell me, "the lady was looking at me". I thought at the time it was an Renaissance woman's portrait I had painted in art school hanging near his bedroom, so I removed it thinking that was the cause of his terror. 

          This is the portrait of Raphael's lady I copied in art school.

I know now it was something else.
We've become aware of children ghosts that are in our house, who (we've been told) died suddenly and tragically and of a woman guardian who looks after the children and us. We think she is the one who leaves me the "ghost threads" presents. Her name could possible be Marjorie.  An older woman's apparition has been seen in between our front and screen doors (and with a space width of less than 8 inches it wasn't a live human), She has visited my son in a dream holding a little girl about 4 years old who is dead. She tells my son to look out from our upstairs bathroom window to see the site of the little girl's grave. We have been told by a team of "grave dowsers" who investigated for us that there possible could be not one but several graves on our property.  Near the upstairs bathroom window we've smelled an strong old fashioned fragrance of lilacs and roses and have found several "ghosts threads".  

                    

My son tells of a dream he's had of a young boy about 8 years old, and his name is Benjamin Foster, who has been on our property for a long time (1800's). We have seen his ghostly hand prints above our garage door and his message for help. When we researched this there is indeed a record of land near ours that was originally the Foster Family farm and is now a children's playground called "Foster Tract". Benjamin likes to be in my son's room (he tells my son he is afraid of the bad man in the basement) and plays with my son's movie monster and action figure collectibles and they are often moved around in the room. But when he feels my son is ignoring him the ghost seems to have a "temper tandem" and some figures have been found tossed around the room and broken. 

Our little 4 year old ghosts that Chris has met are a boy and girl and they died from a sudden illness. They like to run through the house and our breezeway and take down my clothes on the clothes tree outside and take down my sun catchers on the window-but never break them or move any other items on the window sill-they are placed with care.

Our resident ghosts are not the only ones appearing to my son in his dreams. There has been puzzling historical figures and references that we are still tying to understand.
Like the time my son woke up and asked me if I ever heard of Enid Cemetery? No I hadn't. He then tells me a WW 2 pilot, whose name was Lt. Robert Strickler, who lost his life in the Pacific came to him. Why?

We look up Enid and here is what we found:

 Enid Cemetery-Oklahoma
Several grave markers also contribute to the historic significance of the cemetery: William F. Svarik (1909) in the Catholic cemetery, W.C. Conley (1889-1921) in Potter's Field, William Mason (1909-1936) and M.J. Adler (1867-1919) in the Jewish section, Lt. Commander Robert L. Strickler.

Another weird coincidence happened about the time we started to watch the TV show "Hell on Wheels". What caught my interest was the actress on the show who plays a former brothel worker and an outcast member of society due to her tattooed chin a reminder of her early days as a captive of the Comanche Indians. I told Chris that that was a true fact and that did happen (although this was changed for the TV show) as I remember a story in one of my western history books and seeing a woman just like that with a tattooed chin.  I didn't recall her name. Chris woke up one morning with a very disturbed demeanor. He told me the shadow man, the one we had seen in our house, wanted him to know that "The Oatman are mine!" Chris also recalled something about the desert and the west but had no idea what that meant so he immediately looked up the name Oatman on his cell phone and up came this:


Olive Oatman (1837–March 20, 1903) was a woman from Illinois whose Morman pioneer family was killed in 1851 when she was fourteen in today's Arizona by a Native American tribe, possibly the Western Yavapai who captured and enslaved her and her sister and later sold them to the Mohave people.
After several years with the Mohave, during which her sister died of hunger, she returned to the white world, five years after being carried off. In subsequent years, the tale of Oatman came to be retold with dramatic license in the press, in her own "memoir" and speeches, novels, plays, movies and poetry. 
And what really made Chris jump off his bed was Olive Oatman's Photo: Both Oatman girls were tattooed on their chins and arms in keeping with the tribal custom for those who were tribal members. Olive later claimed (in her memoir book and in her lectures) that she was tattooed to mark her as a slave of the Mohaves.

Her markings were just like the one the actress wore on the TV show. What did this mean? 

For most dreamers a psychic visitation appears for one or two reasons:

Someone the dreamer knows (family, friend, loved one, or distant familiar person) who recently died and the soul who just past needs the dreamer’s guidance or some type of reassurance of their death.
Or the dreamer is in need of guidance, protection, comfort – a spirit (whether familiar or unfamiliar) will appear with a message, or love and warmth, for the dreamer (whether the dreamer realized he/she requested assistance or not).

We are not sure why these long dead spirits are contacting Chris.
This is only a small sample of the unusual psychic connections Chris is dealing with all the time. There are other dreams which I can only reveal in my next book because of the potential serious nature of the allegations it presents connected to a particular ghost we have been dealing here since my friend's death.
Having a psychic son is both a blessing and a curse. I worry about the dark along with the light that is attracted to him. He takes it good naturally and with a sense of humor. I support him as does his wife as someone who is truly gifted and sensitive with special abilities. We will always believe in him and it certainly makes our lives very spirited and interesting! 

ANGEL OF DEATH OR SAINTLY INTERVENTION

The following blog is written as my own point of view and not to proselytize, interfere or disagree with anyone's else religious or non religious beliefs. It is purely from my own personal (Christian) perspective and experience that I write this to inform and share with others. Many other religions have the same common themes based in their holy books too so there might be some similarities. Love and Light to you all!

Throughout recorded history, people from various religious perspectives have spoken of an “Angel of Death”. Many people from all walks of life who have had near death experiences have reported that they've encountered angels who helped them, and people who have witnessed loved ones die have also reported encountering angels who gave their dying loved ones peace. Sometimes dying people’s last words describe the visions they’re experiencing. For example, just before famous inventor Thomas Edison died in 1931, he remarked: "It is very beautiful over there." And the late Apple inventor, Steve Jobs, was reported saying to his family just before he died, "OH, WOW!"

The Angel of Death’s personification as an evil creature wearing a black hood and carrying a scythe (the Grim Reaper of popular culture) originated from the Jewish Talmud’s descriptions of an evil Angel of Death who represents the demons associated with the fall of mankind (one consequence of which was death).  Throughout centuries artists have represented this figure in thousands of incarnations and indeed is a dark subject that creative people love to reinvent and portray.

So, should we fear the Angel of Death?

The Midrash (a form of rabbinic literature) explains that God does not allow the Angel of Death to bring evil to righteous people. Also, all people are bound to encounter the Angel of Death when it’s their appointed time to die, says Psalm 89:48: "There is no man who lives and, seeing the angel of death, can deliver his soul from his hand."

What if there is one or even a group of angels who comfort people when they’re dying and escort their souls into an afterlife?

The Christian Bible doesn't name one specific angel as the Angel of Death. But it does say that angels are "all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation" (Hebrews 1:14) and makes it clear that death is a holy event for Christians ("Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints," Psalm 116:15), so in the Christian view it’s reasonable to expect that one or more angels will be present with people when they die. 

Since I had a Catholic upbringing we were taught by The Catholic Church that the archangel Michael escorts the souls of those who have died to the afterlife, where God judges their earthly lives. Catholic tradition also says that Michael may communicate with dying people near the end of their lives on Earth, helping them find redemption before they pass away.

A very unique Catholic tradition is the one of Saints (ordinary people who lived on this Earth who are officially recognized by the Christian church as being very holy because of the way he or she lived)  and their special order in Heaven. Catholics pray to the a particular saint (they do not worship them) for intersession on their behalf as saints can relay messages directly to God because of their holy status in Heaven. Catholics are named usually after different patron saints and my Italian family carried on that tradition. My name is Anita which is Spanish for "Little Anne" Saint Anne, my brother's is Anthony after Saint Anthony, my dad was Vincent after Saint Vincent de Paul and my mother's middle name was Rita after Saint Rita of Cascia.

Saint Rita of Cascia

Saint Rita was born as Margherita in 1381 near Umbria, Italy and was married at age 12 to a nobleman named Paolo Mancini. Her husband was known to be a rich, quick-tempered, immoral man, who had many enemies in the region of Cascia. Rita had her first child at the age of 13. Rita endured his insults, physical abuse and infidelities for many years. According to popular tales, through humility, kindness and patience, Rita was able to convert her husband into a better person. She bore the terrible pain of losing her husband and 2 sons later to a murderous vendetta by a rival family feud. She entered the Convent in Cascia at the age of 36 and later bore the stigmata of a thorn of Christ in her forehead. She is shown with roses as a tale is told of how when she was sick and dying at the convent, a miracle of red roses appeared in the winter snow as a sign of her piety. She is the patron saint of lost and impossible causes, sickness, wounds, marital problems, abuse, and mothers.

                           Saint Rita's tomb with her in-corrupt body at the Basilica of Cascia.

My mother was baptized, attended school and church and married in St. Rita of Cascia Church in South Philadelphia. My mother often called on her to help her out in difficult times. She held a special place in my mother's heart as my mom told us of the time that she contracted staphylococcal meningitis in 1942 at the age of 19. She was engaged to my dad at the time and he was not allowed home on furlough (he was in basic training in the Army Air Corp during WW 2) as my mother was quarantined in a Philadelphia hospital and not expected to live. The only medicine at the time was Sulfa and they were given to my mother although she found out years later by a family doctor that the drug was useless against such a serious disease.The only thing anyone could do was pray for her and the whole church community did just that with great devotion. My mother told us how sick she was with terrible head, neck pain and fever and that she saw the "Angel of Death"- a dark figure-come closer and closer to her. She said she fought to keep her eyes open and not fall asleep as she knew if she did that she would die. She prayed to Saint Rita to heal her and the next day she over came the crucial crisis point and started to get better. Her recovery would be a long and difficult one with  months in bed with terrible headaches but she survived and married my dad after the war.

She and her family were convinced that the dark figure was a vision of Saint Rita in her nun's habit at the foot of my mother's bed. Miracle? Saintly intervention? Our family believe that it was.

My mother survived a terrible disease and affliction which many never recover. I can't help think about how incredibly different things would have been had my mother not survived and never had another 72 years to live. My father would have married someone else, my brother and I would never have been born and you would never be reading this blog. It's hard not to think of the implications. I guess some things are meant to be. Thank you Providence and Saint Rita for saving her and giving me the best mother and friend a girl could ever have. You have my everlasting gratitude!

My MOM'S FINAL EMBRACE

My beloved mother passed away a few weeks ago and its been very hard on me. I have been close to my mom all my life and for the last 6 years I've been her primary caregiver every day for her numerous illnesses, hospital and ER stays, overseer of her medications, doctor visits and "captain" to direct the other team of caregivers we had 24/7 (especially the last 2 years). I was with her almost to the very end as she spent her final days at home on Hospice. She was so happy to be home and hugged and kissed me me everyday to show how grateful she was to me and my family for making it happen. 

I had been in this situation before as I also helped to care for my dying father at home (also on Hospice 2 years ago) and saw him 45 minutes before he died. Hospice is not for the faint of heart as it can be difficult and gut wrenching to see your loved one in terrible pain, smelling the odor of incontinence, changing and washing sheets and bed clothing, maintaining equipment for feeding tubes etc., the constant diligence of dispensing the medications on a strict schedule, and hearing the constant swooshing sound of the oxygen machine pumping life- giving breath to lungs that are tired and want to give up. Yes, it was hard to see my once beautiful, vibrant, energetic, steel willed "force of nature" mother finally surrender to a septic infection that finally stilled her loving, beating heart. But I would do it all again for my last living memory of her, several days before she died, was her arms reaching out to me hugging me in a final embrace of thanks.

Her name was Aurora and we laid to rest our "Sleeping Beauty" on a warm and cloudless blue sky day. At her funeral as the mourners surrounded my mother's lavender steel casket, under the sheltered pavilion by the mausoleum gardens at St. Peter and Paul Cemetery, several of my friends remarked how all of a sudden the wind kicked up around us like a small whirlwind when it had been calm only moments before. I only smiled knowing that that whirlwind was my mom. This was only the first of many signs I would notice in the coming days of my mom's spirit being close by.(In my previous blog on "Spirit Messengers" I mentioned that I discovered a large moth in her laundry room the day after she died).

This past Friday, my mom's dear friend, Sister Clare called to check up on me and find out how I was doing. She had to tell me of her experience she had during the mass for Christian burial we had for my mom. Sister was sitting with several other nuns away from the family designated pews and wasn't sitting near anyone close, but told me she smelled very strongly "White Diamonds" the perfume my mother always wore and that she felt my mother's presence next to her.

I then told her of my own strange experience in the family limo during the funeral procession. I was wearing a high necked blouse with a jacket (Asian design with a butterfly painted on it) and one necklace of a jeweled butterfly and another plain long gold chain that was my mother's. I happened to look down at my blouse and saw that my mom's gold chain was gone. I started to panic and looked around the limo. I touched my neck and found to my relief that the chain somehow was inside my blouse! It was bizarre. There was no way this could happen unless you physically (and with some difficulty) stuff the chain inside the blouse. Sister Clare's response was said with a laugh,"I think your mom did that". She was right. That would be something funny my mother would do to break up the sadness of that day.

This past week there have been flickering light bulbs following me where ever I am in a room or closet. At first my son thought it could be a wiring malfunction in our house or the light bulbs had to be changed or tightened. No, we checked and it wasn't any of those. Only the faintest of flickers but persistent nevertheless. Is that you mom?

In researching for this blog there is truth to these visits from the deceased. Many times, the Dead visit the living right after their passing as the spirit still has many ties to the world of the living. Often, recently deceased people travel to those they have attachments to, appearing as uncommonly solid and real apparitions to living dreamers. These visits are often a way for the Dead to say farewell to those still on the material plane so they can let go and gain entry into the spirit world. These visits tend to be intensely felt, and are often very comforting to the living. How timely this information was for me.

Yesterday, Saturday only 2 weeks since we buried my mom I went into a bag with the last article of clothing she wore-her favorite lavender warm up jacket(she was always cold even in the summer). It still had the small stain of vanilla ice cream on it- the last thing she ever ate. It also smelled of her neck and her White Diamonds perfume. I just burst into tears. I couldn't bear to wash this yet. I placed that jacket next to me last night on a pillow before I fell to sleep. Then it happened. Sometime during the night my mother visited me. There seemed to be a gathering or party with people and my mother was off in the distance. Then she was just within arms length and with a big smile and looking like she did 25 years ago she said, "There you are Honey, I'm so glad to see you, I've missed you". We ran into each others arms and I could fell the physical pressure of her embrace. It lingered for a long time and I felt so happy. She showed me a garden room that was so beautiful and said she and my dad were there and then the dream ended.

As I said in my final words for my mom's Eulogy, "Ciao, Mom, I'll see you in my dreams." I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes but forever grateful for her loving visit. Ciao, Mom!

SPIRIT MESSENGERS

Imagine hearing of the recent practice of releasing captured butterflies at a person's funeral and then actually witnessing the sudden appearance of a large lone wild butterfly circle a deceased loved one's casket under a pavilion and then flutter off to a where a statue of Jesus stands. That's what happened to our family when my dad was laid to rest with a military honor guard, two years ago this past June. My dad had been a crew member on a B-24 bomber during WWII and it was a practice of the air men to do a "fly over" for a fallen comrade. It's as if the butterfly was doing this one last time and my dad's spirit saying goodbye to us.

                                   Eastern Swallowtail Butterfly

In early Christianity, the butterfly was a symbol of the soul. In China, it was used as a symbol of conjugal bliss and joy. The butterfly was particularly revered by the tribes of the American southwest. Its dance is performed by both Navajo and Hopis. In the Hopi tradition, unmarried girls of the butterfly clan wore their hair in the shape of butterfly wings to advertise their availability. To Native Americans, the butterfly is a symbol of change, joy and color. 

What about moths and their symbolic connection with departed spirits?
Unlike her cousin, the butterfly (with whom the moth shares many symbolic attributes), the moth’s cocoon is like an internalized womb with a hard casing, allowing more protection against the elements. (the butterfly has an externalized womb, more exposed and subjective to the environment).

Moths are nocturnal, and much of their symbolism deals with: intuition, psychic perception, and heightened awareness. As if being a night-dweller weren't enough, moths are babes of the moon. They follow the Mother Moon as a source of light, and this connects them with some powerful moon associations such as: Knowledge of the other world, second sight, prophesy, and clarity.

I bring up this up because when my mom passed away last week I found a large brown and tan moth fluttering in her laundry. My mother and I were very close so since my mother loved butterflies and the moth is a cousin of the butterfly, perhaps it is her way of letting me know she made it peacefully to the other side. 

Perhaps our departed loved ones can also speak to us through butterflies and moths as many people believe that their loved one still exists in some form. Many people report seeing butterflies shortly after a loved one’s death. Some see the butterfly as a symbol of resurrection, while others consider it to be the essence of the deceased’s soul. In fact there is an old Irish saying, “Butterflies are souls of the dead waiting to pass through purgatory.”

Maybe I'm reading to much into this but I believe there may be some symbolism behind it all and that our connections to these ethereal animals provide solace, comfort and support. Either way, butterflies and moths could be guardian angels or spirit guides sending you a signal or important spiritual messengers. It is often up to each one of us who have had this experience to decide the true meaning and seek their own answers.

MY MOTHER'S "CROSSING OVER"

It happened so fast. My mother had been only home on Hospice for two weeks and then last Sunday night, September 15th she started to grow weak and could not eat. We quickly changed her medications and with antibodies were able to ease her pain and heart congestion. But at 91 my mother continued on a down hill spiral until only morphine and Ativan for anxiety were effective for her comfort.  Last Friday, her friend of 80 years (yes, 80 years!) Marie P. who is 90, came to see her with her daily companion. That morning our dedicated private caregivers washed and changed my mom,her bed linens, creamed her face and put on some light makeup for her guest. At precisely 11:30 AM her friend arrived and after 3 of us got Marie and her wheelchair into the living room, where my mom's bed was set up, we approached my mom, who had her eyes closed until then, and told her "Mom, your friend Marie is here". She immediately opened her eyes in recognition (it almost startled us) and put out her hand to Marie who grasped it weakly but held tight. It was an amazing moment to all of us who observed this incredible touching exchange between to life long friends. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. For two hours my mom was on and off responsive and when her friend left I went over to my mom to say how wonderful it was that Marie's daughter (my mother's godchild) could make this happen. My mom reached out both arms to me to hug me and I knew it was to thank me, too.  Only 2 nights before when my mother could still get words out of her severely dry throat she said to me, "I'm sorry I've been so much trouble."  No mom, I cried, would do it all again.

It has been a long and hard journey the past six years taking care of my mother and more so after my father died two years ago from Parkinson's Disease while on Hospice at our home. My mother had a heart attack in 2008 and for the past 6 years she has been in the hospital or ER thirty-one times and seeing seven different doctors! That's not counting the follow up doctor's visits, tests, MRI's, CAT SCANS, her multiple falls, fainting, infections, numerous blood tests, IV's and hundreds of trips to the drug store for her schedule of 15-20 various medications she took on a daily basis. All kept in log books, charts and the continued up-to-date briefings I had to inform to my 5 other care givers for the 24/7 care she got at home. (including my 40 hrs+ a week) For the first 4 years it was extremely difficult because I was taking care of my dad too. It's been a tough balancing act: with my own family and art business, at the same time preforming my duties as Executrix for my deceased friend's estate(which took over a year to settle) and the paranormal encounters at his house which led me to write my book Estate of Horror, but one I knew I had to do. 

Recently,we have had signs that are loved ones are waiting for her on the other side. My mom called out my dad's name and for her mother several days ago and my son and I felt a cool breeze over me to her exposed hand I was holding. It was like someone breathing on our hands! My son 's face got very hot (something that's happened before to him in our deceased friend's house) and heard 3 knocks from the kitchen. That happened to our caregiver and Hospice nurse in that same kitchen last week when they heard 2 sets of 3 knocks coming from the powder room next door. The nurse looked startled and asked,"Is this house haunted?" Our caregiver Denise just laughed,"No, but Anita's is and sometimes the ghosts travel with her to here." The nurse was silent for a moment and said, "Don't tell me anything else" and got back to writing in her log book. Thank goodness our caregivers have been with us for the last 2 years and know of my on going paranormal incidents and are very supportive.

The day my dad died (June 16, 2011) I was sitting with him quietly as my mother was taken for a doctor's appointment and I told him he could "go" as my mom would be taken care of. I saw a gold orb fly between us and then a dark shadow cross over his face. I knew "they" were waiting for him as we had heard the sounds of knocking on our front door days before (no one there) and the sound of someone shuffling with a cane down the tiled hallway (like my dad's father who died in 1985) when no one was there. That night he passed away and in the arms of his beloved wife of 65 years and buried with full honor guard. 

Several weeks later my son, Chris who I've mentioned is psychic, told me his grandfather came to him in a dream on July 4th to relay him to tell his wife and family he was fine (she was with his sister who had passed before him) and that his father, his dear friend Mario (Marie's husband who died 8 years ago) and his brother-in-law Tom (who died around the same time in June, about 15 years before and had very close birthdays) were there to greet him and cross him over. We were very comforted by that message.

As for my mom, she doesn't exhibit any signs of pain and is in a semi-coma. She stirs and knows when I'm there as hearing is the last thing they say goes in a case like this. So, yesterday I played some of her favorite music: Italian opera and songs recorded on CD of her departed friend Connie, who was an opera singer and had a beautiful voice even in her eighties. So we are on the "death watch" as they say. We have done all we can.

Even though we know her passing will be soon, one is never prepared for a parent's death. She has been a wonderful and beautiful mother, who always thought of her family first. 

Her Italian cooking (homemade spaghetti, ravioli, lasagna) and baking desserts (biscotti, pizzelles,chocolate chip cookies and cheese pies) were legendary. She was my dad's devoted wife and business partner and talented homemaker and hostess. She sewed her own clothes and her children's with professional results. She was direct, demanding, honest and funny, and the stories we could tell about our own"Lucille Ball" would fill a book. For example: In the nursing home last month she wasn't getting her pain medicine pain on time and threatened to her caregiver, "I'm calling 911, Denise, and have them light a fire under that nurse's butt if she doesn't come soon". Denise thought she would die from laughing! All the caregivers loved my mom-as they knew they were taking care of a unique person. She loved life every day because to her it was a gift, as she miraculously survived staphylococcal meningitis at the age of 19, and always had a smile when her children and grandchildren entered the room. One of the last things she did at home was to get out her recipe for her famous sour cream pound cake to bake for my twin brother and my birthday but she became too ill. Mom was a natural red head and was a real "pistol" as her heart surgeon called her and a ball of energy doing 3 things at once that her family could hardly keep up with. Yes, she was all that and more. As Andrea Bocelli sang yesterday it's "time to say goodbye" and when she passes there is no doubt she will be a force to be reckoned with even in Heaven. So look out Saint Peter here comes Aurora at the Pearly Gates. I hope you are all ready because there has been no one like her, ever. I will forever be grateful to have been her daughter. Ciao Mom and I'll see you in my dreams!